


Love Is a Long Long Road -- Ending Two

by padawanhilary, Telesilla



Series: Long Long Road [3]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, BDSM, Collars, Dom/sub, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-05
Updated: 2010-06-05
Packaged: 2017-10-09 22:13:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/92165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padawanhilary/pseuds/padawanhilary, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Telesilla/pseuds/Telesilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few weeks after Rodney leaves Stanford, John has things to say and risks to take.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Is a Long Long Road -- Ending Two

_Palo Alto, California, December 1986_

Taking a deep breath, John walked into the travel agent's office.

"Hi, can I help you?"

The middle-aged woman who spoke gestured to the chair in front of her desk and John smiled a little as he sat down. "I know it's kind of late," he said apologetically. "But I really need to be in Boston on the 24th."

"Only three days notice?" she said. "That's cutting it a little close; this will be expensive."

"That's fine," John said. "I just...I really need to be there."

She started typing into her terminal. "Okay. Let's see...this might take a minute or two." She looked up at him. "Is this a family emergency?"

"No, I just want to surprise someone."

"Oh, how sweet." She smiled. "That's a nice Christmas gift; I'm sure she'll appreciate it."

For just a moment, John hesitated and then he took the plunge. "I really hope he will."

Fortunately, the woman just nodded. "Okay, I've got a flight out of Oakland that will get you to Logan at...oh, no that won't do; ten thirty at night's a little late. Let's try again...oh, here. You can fly out of San Francisco and get in at two in the afternoon on December 24th with a return on January 2nd. The return is a red-eye; I'm sorry about that."

"No, it's fine; that sounds great."

She quoted a price that made him blink, but he reached for his wallet. "Can you rent a car for me as well? And I should probably get a hotel room." He remembered Rodney bitching about his place in Boston and figured that it might be nice to have some place where they didn't have to worry about dodging people on the stairs or waking the neighbors up.

"Someplace nice," he added, handing over the platinum American Express card that was tied to his trust fund. She raised an eyebrow.

"The Four Seasons, Mr. Sheppard?"

"Sure," John shrugged. He really didn't care, as long as it had a decent bed and room service.

* * *

Boston Massachusetts, December 1986

Three days later, John accepted the keys for the car and then made his way to a phone booth. "Please please please be home," he muttered as he punched in the number Rodney had given him. Rodney had insisted that he wasn't going home for the holidays, but what if he'd changed his mind? What if he'd been able to get lab time on Christmas Eve?

_Then, I'll drive out to MIT and look for him,_ he thought as he listened to Rodney's phone ring. _Hell, I'll fucking fly to Toronto if I have to._

Rodney was in the tedious process of flipping through channels, bent over his crappy little television with its flat-grip knob, and considering whether he wanted to put himself in the even more tedious process of cutting through the swathe of work he had laid out for him in preparation for testing out of one of the fall semester's classes. _I have a few more days,_ he told himself, and he settled on something that would make good background noise as he gazed sightlessly at the television, ate Chee-tos and pined for John. _I am a pathetic, miserable excuse for a scientist,_ he decided. He didn't really mind too much. The feel of John against him was still too close and fresh for him to mind too much; the scientific mind would make its own return.

He sat down on the sofa and then leaned over for a pad of paper and a pen (he considered himself an even worse writer than a miserable excuse for a scientist, but it was his only connection to John when he couldn't afford to place a state-to-state phone call and the longing was a palpable knot in his chest).

When the phone rang, it startled him. Sure, it was Christmas Eve, but he wasn't expecting any actual _calls._ And then he thought in the split second it took to raise the receiver to his ear that it might be John, and at once he knew he'd be bitterly disappointed if it wasn't.

"Hello?"

_Oh thank God._

"Hey," John said. "It's me. Look, I'm kind of an idiot and I don't have much time, but I lost your address."

He hadn't, of course. In fact, he'd memorized it. But he'd wanted to make sure Rodney was home before he drove out there.

Rodney's heart sped up when he heard the voice on the other line, and he had a burst of irrational happiness at the idea that John was sending him presents. "Hi," he breathed. "Um. Wow." He gave the address quickly, and then, as a matter of making sure John had every conceivable way to reach him, also gave him the phone number to the lab. It wasn't necessarily a good idea, but God, he couldn't stand not letting John get to him anywhere he was, anytime.

"Thanks," John said. "Look, I'm sorry; I've got to run, but are you going anywhere today? I'll be able to talk to you longer in a little while."

"No." The disappointment was right there on the surface. Rodney knew it came through in his voice but couldn't do a thing about it. "I'm here all day." He hesitated, taking a breath, but what he wanted to say just wouldn't come out. "So...whenever."

"Sorry," John said, and he almost told Rodney where he was. But no...he was a man with a plan and he'd better stick to it. "Honestly, I'll talk to you really soon."

Once he was sure he'd mapped out the way to Rodney's place, John tossed his bag into the back of the car and set out. Driving in Boston was every bit as bad as he'd heard, but in spite of the holiday traffic, he made pretty good time and only got lost once.

_For me,_ he thought as he pushed the buzzer button next to "McKay, R." _that's doing damn well._

Rodney's eyes narrowed as he heard the buzz. "If that's another pizza delivery for I. C. Weener, I'm going to club somebody with the toaster." He hauled himself up off the couch, long-suffering, and went to the door. "Yeah?" he said as he punched the button. "I didn't order any pizza, so if you're here for that, forget it."

John grinned; as he'd expected, the speaker was crap. He could only tell it was Rodney from the words and not the voice. "Got a package here for McKay. You need to sign for it," he said and then took his finger off the button.

Sighing heavily, Rodney tipped his head down. "Fine," he relented, pushing the button. "Come up."

Rodney was on the third floor and it was a walk-up, but it only took John a minute to reach the door. Taking a deep breath, he tried to let go of his fear that this was the stupidest thing he'd ever done. _No. The stupidest thing I've ever done was let him get on that plane without telling him...._

He knocked on the door.

Rodney was already at the door, and he flung it open in sheer, unadulterated annoyance before his gaze lit on the face in front of his. "John," he managed, overwhelmed at once. "Oh my God."

"Merry Christmas," John said. It had only been a few weeks, most of which had passed in a blur of finals and college application paperwork, but John still felt like he hadn't seen Rodney in years. "I...just...." Now that he was here, his words were getting stuck again. He'd been much more smooth the hundred and one times he'd rehearsed this.

"I love you," he blurted out. "I just...I should have told you that before."

Rodney stared, and for a few seconds he was just overwhelmed, wondering if he was experiencing the actual visual and auditory input that he seemed to be.

Then he grabbed John by the shirt and dragged him in, yanking him close for a hard kiss.

_Oh thank God,_ John thought. Everything he meant to do after this would be easy, now that he'd said that and Rodney was...well, obviously okay with it. He tried to stop thinking and just let himself go and kiss Rodney.

Somehow, the door managed to get shut, and somehow, they managed to work their way into the bedroom of Rodney's little flat. Rodney managed to pull back to breathe, one hand sliding along John's back, but there was nothing to say. John had _come for him,_ and that said everything Rodney needed to know.

Rodney's stunned silence meant more than any flood of words; John had never seen him speechless for this long, so he supposed he could be excused feeling just a little smug. "I didn't know if you'd...." Oh good, now he was babbling, as if they'd somehow traded off or something. "Anyway, I got a room, but we can...we don't have to...." He rolled his eyes at how sad he was and leaned in for another kiss.

"I don't care," Rodney muttered against John's mouth. "I don't care." He dragged John against him once more, and then they were falling on the bed. The bed was crappy and lousy with bad springs, and Rodney _still_ didn't care. This was _perfect._

"That's fine," John said, moaning as he came into contact with Rodney. "I just want you...please?" As he said it, he couldn't imagine why he'd thought he could give this up, give Rodney up. It just seemed ridiculous.

Rodney couldn't stop kissing. Every once in a while in the middle of the fevered making out, he'd try to take off a piece of clothing, but he never seemed to get very far. John was here. John was _here._ He still couldn't make it compute. "Can't believe you came," he finally breathed, and then it hit him that he hadn't said the words, hadn't returned the sentiment.

"John," he groaned between more hot kisses, "love you." And oh, fuck, it felt so good to say, better than Rodney had ever thought it would.

He'd known, or at least been pretty sure, so hearing it really shouldn't have been as shattering as it was. "God," John said. "Rodney...." And then they were kissing again while he tried to get out of his sweater at the same time and it was a tangle of arms and wool and mouths that had John laughing breathlessly into Rodney's mouth.

Twisting, Rodney managed to squirm away a little. "Okay," he huffed out, "just...this is totally inefficient." He got up to his knees and pulled his shirt off, toed out of his sneakers. "You, too."

It took John a little longer, but he was finally out of his sweater and shirt and jeans and everything else. "Missed you so fucking much," he said, moving in on Rodney again. He kind of wanted to make some kind of big gesture, like going to his knees or something, but he wasn't sure that was the best thing to do. Remembering that he'd promised himself that he'd say more instead of assuming that Rodney just _knew_ things, he cleared his throat.

"It's not just the kinky sex," he said. "It's more than that."

That was the kind of thing that deserved some attention. Rodney turned to John and slid an arm around his waist, watching him closely. "I know," he said quietly. "For me, too." Suddenly it felt safe to admit to things he wouldn't have before, and he added, "You distract me from my classes. I can't stop thinking about you, even when I'm in the lab." He figured that, at least, was about equal in weight to the things John was saying, and it felt good to get them out.

"Wow, really?" John smacked his forehead with his palm. "Sorry, that didn't come out right." He fell back on the bed and laughed. "I...Jesus, Rodney, I feel like I'm high or something." There were things they needed to talk about, but John was just so _gone_ on seeing Rodney again that he wasn't sure he'd make sense if he tried to say anything.

"Me, too." Rodney rolled up atop John and kissed him again, then pulled back to look at him thoughtfully. "I can't believe you're here," he said again. "You came all this way for us."

"I had to," John said and then said it again because he really wanted Rodney to get it. "I _had_ to. For us."

Swallowing hard, Rodney kissed John again, deep and long, trying to let him feel the things that the words were too useless to explain. He didn't know how long John was here for, but it didn't matter. They'd deal with that later.

"There's so much," he mumbled between kisses, "I want to do to you. I don't know where to start."

"Whatever you want," John said, putting his hands above his head, wrists crossed. "Anything."

Rodney clamped a hand over John's wrists immediately, settling down over him to bite at his mouth. "I want to mark you." He shifted lower and fixed his mouth over a nipple, sucking sharply before raising his head again. "Something that'll hurt for a few days."

"Oh fuck, please?" John grinned up at Rodney. "Knew you were a genius."

Laughing quietly, Rodney leaned down to bite again. "Well, of course." He raised his head again, trying to decide how to make the mark. He could raise a bruise by biting or sucking, or he could hit John with something. He considered that a moment, looking John up and down.

John shivered a little, all of a sudden this was serious and _real_. He had no idea what Rodney was planning, but whatever it was, he wanted it. "Please?" he said again, twisting his wrists just a little in Rodney's grip, wanting to feel that pressure.

Pushing John's wrists further into the bed, Rodney nodded, still thinking. "Just need to figure out how," he murmured. It needed to be in a place John would feel, but nothing too visible. He shifted his grip a little bit and leaned down, latching onto the muscle between neck and shoulder and biting sharply.

It hurt and John let himself make noise as Rodney bit down even harder. He wanted it, needed it even, and he could trust Rodney to give it to him. "Yours," he said as he arched up against Rodney. He'd said it before, but always pretended that it was something said in the heat of the moment, just before he came or when he was begging to come. Now...now it was real and he was going to say it as often as Rodney let him. "Yours."

"Mmm," Rodney growled, sucking on the spot, and then he raised his head. "Mine." He kissed John hard, licking and biting some more. _Mine._ He was sorry that he had to let go of John's wrists to reach for supplies.

Rodney had placed the mark perfectly; it pulsed in time with John's heartbeat and he knew he'd be feeling it for days. The thought made him smile as he watched Rodney dig for lube and condoms. _I'll feel it every time...oh fuck._

"Rodney? I know this is weird, but...can I...I have something I need to give you." Oh God, this was so far from smooth as to be completely dorky. "If it's okay?"

Frowning briefly, Rodney nodded. "Sure -- of course." It seemed odd that John would request to give Rodney a present, but John was probably already pretty far down. "Is it a unicorn, or maybe my own personal nuclear lab? Because that'd be, like, the thing that would make today perfect." He grinned, petting a hand over John's hair and letting him up.

"Sorry no labs," John said as he scrambled out of bed and hunted around for his jeans. "And unicorns, well, I'm hardly virginal...." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the narrow strip of black leather that he'd stroked over and over on the flight.

Staying on his knees, he held it up. "Um...it's a collar. It buckles, but you can lock it too. If...if you want."

_Oh, God._ Rodney pulled in a breath, amazed. "It's--John, wow." His heart was racing, and he hated that he couldn't find something profound and meaningful to say as he took the collar out of John's hands. "Yes, I want to," he finally managed, blinking and nodding. "God, John, absolutely I do."

John handed over the collar and then the little lock and two keys he'd bought with it. "I'm sorry," he said with a nervous little laugh. "When I mentally rehearsed all this...it went down a whole lot better."

Rodney had to laugh too, and he leaned down to kiss John, a hand at John's nape. This was the kind of thing that, not too long ago, would have sent him into a tizzy of what-ifs and wondering: how were they going to manage it with John in California and Rodney in Massachusetts, what did it mean, exactly, to have someone collared to you if you couldn't be there to oversee, to instruct, to do the things Rodney had grown so used to doing...

It would work itself out, he decided. This thing between us wasn't going anywhere. He knew that now, John being here on his knees offering up his keeping to Rodney proved it, and Rodney was going to meet that need. They would _make_ it work.

Watching John seriously, Rodney put the collar around John's throat, buckling it with a fumble or two--his hands were shaking. He set the keys on his nightstand, promising himself he'd get some kind of indestructible chain to put one on, and then he took up the little lock.

He floundered for words for a minute or two, staring at the lock and then at John. Finally he just murmured "I love you" as he leaned down to clip the lock into the hasp and click it shut.

"Love you too," John said, tilting up his face for a kiss.

Rodney gave it, and gave it, and gave it, and then he was pulling John up, onto the bed, settling over him. "This is just...incredible," he moaned, and of course all of that hot, intense emotion wasn't facilitating any kind of sex, so he grabbed for lube. "I'll be romantic about it later," he promised with a broken little laugh.

"I think you fucking me is perfectly romantic," John said, putting his hands above his head again and spreading his legs.

"Works for me." Rodney stared down at John as he wet his fingers and then worked two of them into John. "Fuck," he choked out, stunned all over again by how tight John was.

"Oh God," John moaned. Only a few weeks without this, without Rodney, and it felt like it had been a lifetime. "I'm ready," he manages to get out. "Oh please...so ready, need you."

Rodney was totally taking John at his word; there was no way he was waiting. Later, he could tease and play and drive John up the wall. But that was later. He bit the condom package open and spit out plastic, and then he couldn't get the condom on fast enough. He put extra lube on the outside, too, just because if he hurt John, he didn't want it to be by accident.

John was looking kind of frantic by the time Rodney got lined up and ready, and maybe Rodney shouldn't have been so damned accommodating, but John's sheer need was enough to speed Rodney up. He pushed in all at once, and this time there was no clumsiness, no fumbling for the right angle. Rodney suddenly felt graceful and in command, and the contrast of black leather on John's tanned skin made him feel even more so.

The first thrust was perfect and John arched up to meet it with a low moan. As Rodney kept fucking him, stroke after perfect, _hard_ stroke, John had the vague thought that Rodney was staring at him even more than usual. It took another moment or two before he realized that Rodney was staring at the collar in the same way he'd stared at John in the beginning, like he didn't think this was really happening to him.

Arching his neck, John breathed, "yours," and then just went with it, doing his best to show off.

"Yes," Rodney hissed, biting at John's chest, aiming to leave another mark. Maybe a few, before they were done, and he just kept going, fucking John hungrily and sucking purple marks into John's skin.

"Hurts," John moaned, knowing Rodney wouldn't hear that as a plea to stop. "Please," he added, and then "oh God," and "yours" and then all the words got jumbled up until they were falling out of his mouth in no particular order.

"Mine," Rodney agreed when he could find breath, "mine," and he reached back to grab John's thigh and drag it up higher, digging his fingers into the muscle.

The shift in angles was just right and John bit his lip _hard_ as he tried not to come. "Please...please please please!"

"Wait," Rodney ordered, hips snapping forward that much harder. "Just wait." He held John's hips down firmly and shoved in over and over, still staring at the collar.

John wasn't sure he could wait, but he grit his teeth and thought long and hard about tax returns, which had to be the most boring math he knew. He couldn't even beg anymore because just the fact that he _had_ to beg to come was almost enough to push him over the edge.

Gaze finally flicking up to John's face, Rodney saw the struggle there and came abruptly, mouth falling open. His thrusts went uneven and jerky for a minute, hips driving in hard, and finally he wrapped his hand around John's cock, stroking for a second before he finally gasped out, "Come."

With a wordless yell, John arched up against Rodney and came hard and long. By the time he was done, he was panting so hard that he could barely breathe. "Thank...thank you," he said, reaching up to touch the collar. "God, Rodney...."

"Mmm." Rodney sank down over John and burrowed into John's neck, biting a little. He wanted to mark John again, but there would be time for that later. He felt as though the intensity would still be there, and the need. Sliding a hand up into John's hair, Rodney kissed him slowly and thoroughly. This time, he didn't bite. He wanted John to feel real tenderness.

Moaning into Rodney's mouth, John suddenly realized that he didn't have to leave in a few hours, or even tomorrow. He laughed, just a little huff of happiness against Rodney's lips, and wrapped his legs around Rodney's.

Rodney grinned. "What's funny?" he asked, though he figured it wasn't funny so much as just...overwhelmingly good.

"I don't have to leave any time soon." John grinned. "I'm here until the second and so we have lots of time. This time, I mean."

His own grin widening, Rodney held John tightly. "That's--that's great," he breathed, cupping John's head in his hand and offering up another little kiss.

"Mmmm hmmm," John said. "I got a room at the Four Seasons, but I can cancel it if you want to stay here. I'm good either way."

"Are you kidding?" Rodney laughed, pulling back to look at John. "We're definitely going to your place, because I bet they cook better than either of us does." He glanced around. "And they don't have piles of laundry."

"Anything to avoid eating my cooking," John said. He took a deep breath, thinking of his ideas and plans and the application he had ready to take to MIT's admissions office. "At some point, and this is me saying this so you know how much I hate it, we're going to have to talk."

The statement puzzled Rodney a little, since he couldn't figure out what there might be that was so heavy it needed that tone. Still, it couldn't be something insurmountable, whatever it was. John had, after all, flown across the country to spend Christmas break with him. He couldn't help but think that it was going to be okay.

* * *

Epilogue

Pasadena, California, April 1999

Paying off the shuttle van driver, John grabbed his luggage and headed for the house, hoping Rodney wasn't in the kitchen or living room. He'd been gone a month and supposedly wasn't getting in until tomorrow; he wanted to surprise Rodney if he could.

Rodney was nowhere to be seen but the door was open and the stereo was playing one of his annoying modern classical CDs. John figured he was in the office, so he ditched his luggage in the living room and called out, "honey, I'm home!"

Rodney froze where he was, just heading out of the office. "John?" he called, amazed. He ran to the front room, laughing. "Oh my God, it's--you're not supposed to be back yet."

John dropped down to his knees, a broad grin on his face. "We finished early and I didn't really want to hang around Seattle any longer than I had to." He put his hands behind his back and looked up at Rodney. "I spared you a drive to the airport. I think I deserve a reward for that."

Snorting, Rodney tipped his head down in a defeated nod. "Of course you do," he smiled, long-suffering. "Stay here." He turned to hurry to the bedroom. The leash and collar were in the bottom drawer of his nightstand, and he draped the leash over one shoulder to walk back out again.

"Tip your chin up," he ordered quietly.

"Mmmmm," John murmured as Rodney locked the collar around his neck. "Thank you."

Once Rodney had clipped the leash onto the collar, he tugged on it. John knew what that meant; he dropped down to his hands and crawled after Rodney. As Rodney led him into the bedroom, John could feel the fatigue of flying draining away.

Rodney hadn't thought he'd get this for another day, and having it early made him feel _great,_ energized and hard. He kept the leash taut as he walked, just to let John feel it that much better. He glanced over his shoulder as they went, liking the way the collar had drawn tight against John's skin.

Once they reached the bedroom, Rodney let go of the leash in order to get undressed. Moving quickly and not really caring where his clothes ended up, John did the same. As soon as he was naked, he dropped to his knees again, more because he liked being there than because of a standing order or anything like that.

Their brand of S/M wasn't anything like the porn he still read on occasion, but after thirteen years and a lot of enthusiastic experimentation, they'd figured out what worked for them and what didn't. There was never any doubt in John's mind who owned him, and that was good enough for both of them.

"Missed you," Rodney breathed as he stepped forward, cupping the back of John's head in one hand and pulling John toward his cock, wrapping the leash around his other hand and making a fist around the leather. "It's been a long month."

"Yeah," John said, his lips moving against Rodney's cock. Taking a deep breath, he slid his mouth down over it, sucking hard. Rodney smelled good, tasted better and John kind of wanted to spend the next day or two sucking him off.

Rodney let out a low groan, dropping his head down. "So good," he managed, holding John's head in both hands now, the leash still twisted around his knuckles, and rocking forward gently. The rough stuff could come later, but for the moment, it was good just to be nestled in John's mouth again.

After a moment, John had relaxed enough to take Rodney all the way in and he hummed as Rodney's dick hit the back of his throat. When Rodney pulled back up, John looked up and would have smiled at Rodney's expression if he could have. As it was, he went back down again, feeling the slight pull of the collar against his neck.

"Huh," Rodney huffed out brokenly, finally pushing back with a sigh. "Can't keep doing that, or I'll come. Get up on your back and I'll welcome you home properly." He indicated the headboard where the cuffs lived, dangling from the slats, and tossed the leash in that direction so John could move.

Even now, John still felt a little thrill of humiliation at how eager he was for Rodney to tie him down and hurt him. It was as familiar and as welcome as the feel of the cuffs around his wrists and he squirmed a little as Rodney looked at him.

Once the cuffs were on John's wrists, Rodney petted them for a moment, just brushing his fingertips against the tender skin, and then took out a cock ring and a set of clamps. It didn't take much to get John's nipples ready for the clamps--it never did--and the cock ring was just another embellishment. John wouldn't come without permission. After all this time, Rodney wasn't even sure he _could._

John hissed a little when the clamps went on; Rodney had picked the really tight ones, John's favorite pair. The cock ring just made him smile because somewhere along the line, Rodney had gotten to like the look; they had quite the collection of cock rings and gates-of-hell.

"There," Rodney sighed, admiring what he called John's dressed-for-bed look. He settled next to John and kissed him, rubbing luxuriously against his hip and toying with the clamps. The leash went down between John's legs, draped over his cock. Rodney liked the contrast of it and the idea of the cool leather on John's overheated erection. That was the beauty of this, he'd learned: it didn't have to be a huge scene. This was one of his favorite things, just binding John up strategically and making out with him till he begged.

As much as John loved the times when Rodney got all complicated and it seemed like half the toys from their toy chest ended up on the bed, he liked this kind of scene as well. It was about connection, he thought as he moaned into Rodney's mouth. It was about how they matched up and fit together and how, wherever they did it, it felt like home.

Rodney was so happy to have John beside him again that for long moments, all he did, literally, was kiss John hard and tug the clamps from time to time (when he wasn't too distracted by John's tongue). He decided they might not get out of bed for the next few days. Right now, nothing was more important than the way John was squirming and moaning and the way the skin of his hip felt, smooth and taut, along Rodney's cock.

"Driving me crazy," John mumbled against Rodney's mouth. It wasn't a complaint, at least not much of one. He hadn't come in two weeks, although Rodney had teased him a couple times on the phone, taking him to the brink and then not letting him finish, but it didn't matter; he'd wait until Rodney was ready. "Feels good," he added. "Love this...."

"I know." Rodney bit John's bottom lip and pulled back, dragging his teeth along the flesh. "And it's gonna be a long afternoon." He pulled back and gave John an evil grin, dropping his hand down to John's cock. He didn't stroke, not yet, just let John feel the heat from his palm.

John pressed up against Rodney's hand just a little, but not too much. If he pushed, if he tried to get more than Rodney wanted him to have, there was a good chance that he'd finish the afternoon just as hard as he started it. And yeah, occasionally he'd done that kind of thing, he'd tried to top from below, because that was just the way he was; he couldn't help pushing the envelope. But today was not one of those days; today, he was going to be good for Rodney.

Oh, and Rodney could feel that in the tense stillness in John's body, the way he stopped himself from shoving up. "That's good," Rodney breathed, rewarding and teasing with a single stroke. "I know it's been a long couple of weeks for you." He settled himself between John's thighs, grabbing lube and wetting two fingers with it.

Rodney's fingers moved into John slowly, way too slowly for John's taste. He tried to be patient, but it wasn't easy when all he wanted was to move right ahead to the part where Rodney fucked him really really hard. Being good, letting Rodney do what he wanted, wasn't easy; pain was still the quickest route to headspace for John. Without it, he had to work harder at letting go.

On top of it all, Rodney was touching him all over with his free hand--reaching up to tug at the chain that connected the nipple clamps, running his hand along John's side and then along his hip, stroking his cock lightly for a moment before moving on. John loved Rodney's hands but right now, Rodney was using them to drive John insane.

"Please," he finally moaned.

"Please what?" Rodney asked. He wasn't trying to be infuriating, but John's _please_s could mean anything: more pain, more pleasure, fucking, all of the above...Rodney liked to know what John wanted, naturally, so he could decide whether or not to deny it.

Sometimes, too, Rodney just liked hearing John beg, and Rodney had gone a whole month without being able to look in John's eyes and see the need. He kept touching, petting almost randomly, and then as he worked a third finger into John, getting him good and slick and loose, he bent down to suck the head of John's cock into his mouth, the thumb from his free hand rubbing along the cock ring.

"I...just...oh fuck! Rodney, please!" John knew he needed to be more specific, but Rodney's mouth was so good and it was all so fucking hot that John just _wanted_.

Finally, Rodney's sadism had to take a back seat to his need to fuck John. He pulled his fingers out of John's grasping heat and ran them over his own cock to spread the last of the lube, and when he pushed in it was all one slick shove, burying himself at once and then fucking John hard.

"Oh fuck!" John yelled, a little surprised that Rodney was fucking him so soon. Rodney's hard, almost brutal, rhythm soon pushed any and all thoughts out of John's head, however, and he finally let himself relax, _finally_ gave himself over to whatever Rodney wanted.

Rodney's hands settled to John's hips, holding him down tightly. The look on John's face, the way he finally just sank into it always did Rodney in; he wasn't going to last long. Luckily, he didn't have to. He groaned heavily, panting as he tugged at the clamps sharply.

The sharp pain was just one more sensation and John arched up and then pulled back, chasing that feeling as Rodney fucked him. Pain and sex and _Rodney_ and it was just all too much. "Please," he gasped out, so gone on it that he really couldn't stop to think about what he was saying. "Oh fuck...God...please please please...Rodney...yours...please!"

"Mine," Rodney agreed almost placidly, and then almost against his will the orgasm rolled over him, shaking him. He cried out softly, teeth gritted as he went still over John, panting in shuddery breaths. He felt an almost giddy sense of ownership with John still straining under him, hard and hurting.

Rodney opened first one clamp, then the other, setting them aside so he could lean down and bite John's nipples, then his chest, catching random patches of skin. He let himself slide out of John's body and then settled atop him, a thigh snugged up against John's balls as he used his teeth on whatever bit of chest he could reach.

Each sharp, hard bite pulled another groan or moan from John; it hurt, of course, and as much as he wanted to come, he wanted the pain more. "God," he gasped. "Thank...so good...hurts!"

"Missed this so much," Rodney groaned, and yeah, he knew John knew that, and he knew John had missed it too, but it bore repeating. Over the years, Rodney had come to accept John's taciturnity -- but he certainly wasn't above working him in headspace, just a little, using it to say the things he needed to say.

"Missed you...God, Rodney...so much." To a certain extent, John knew what Rodney was up to, and really, it was fine with him. Rodney wouldn't push him to say anything he didn't want to say; he'd more than earned John's trust over the last thirteen years.

Rodney only dragged the tease on a little bit longer. He bit his way up to John's mouth, pausing only to mark John sharply, a nice red bite mark in that muscle between neck and shoulder that he liked so well, just under the lower edge of the leather where the collar met skin. That done, he kissed John hard and unsnapped the cock ring.

"Come for me," he ordered tensely, sinking his teeth into John's neck one last time as he stroked, hard and fast.

With a long, low, wordless moan, John gave it up, pushing into Rodney's hand and coming hard. "Yours," he panted, as he finally came down. The bite mark on his neck throbbed and he rolled his head a little, wanting to feel it again. "Love you."

For all that Rodney had come to know John so well -- he knew that roll of John's neck and what it meant quite well -- John had learned just how to handle Rodney, too. Rodney soaked in the words, sighing happily as he bent down to suck on that spot. He was gentle now, but that would be enough. "Love you, too," he murmured against the skin.

"Mmmmm...." John hummed, still a little high and loopy. "Feels good...hurts a little." He slid his legs along Rodney's, running a heel up the back of one of Rodney's calves. "Can I keep the collar on? Please?"

Rodney let out a fond, amused huff. "Yeah. I don't think I want you out of it for a while." He did, however, unclip the leash. As hot as that was, neither of them wanted John strangling on it in his sleep. "You have -- what, the weekend off?"

John yawned and tried to remember his schedule. "I have a bunch of stuff I need to write up, but I wasn't going to go in until Tuesday, maybe Wednesday."

"Fantastic," Rodney nodded. "I put in for a long weekend." He undid the cuffs, pulled John's wrists to his mouth one at a time and then rubbed his fingers over the collar. "I oiled this while you were gone," he admitted quietly. "Next time you have a long assignment, you take it with you and keep up with it."

"Okay," John said, turning his head to kiss Rodney's fingers. "Thank...."

He was interrupted by the doorbell. "I knew you had hookers over when I'm gone!"

Rodney snorted lightly and patted John's cheek just this side of a slap. "Because I'm _so_ interested in paying for what my slut gives me for free." With a long-suffering sigh, he hauled himself out of bed again and put on his robe to pad to the door.

Laughing, John got out of bed and headed toward the bathroom. He needed to wash up a little, and he figured that Rodney would deal with whoever was at the door so that they could get back to the welcome home part of the afternoon.

The opening of the door revealed a courier--Air Force, not some random Fed Ex guy. "Yes?" Rodney asked, curious and apprehensive at once.

"Package for Dr. John Sheppard," the courier announced quietly, and as soon as Rodney called over his shoulder for John to come sign, the courier was adding, "and Dr. Rodney McKay."

Rodney blinked, taking his. The shape of it told him nothing -- it was flat -- and he glanced at John questioningly as he came to the door in his bathrobe and collar.

While he couldn't have taken off the collar even if he'd wanted to, the sight of the young, earnest looking lieutenant at the door made John pause a little. _Tough shit,_ he thought. _It's not like we're any kind of secret and if that poor kid wants to speculate on why I've got a collar on, that's his business_

It was weird though, getting something here at the house. While they both had the same, very high, levels of clearance, anything that required this kind of security was usually delivered and held at JPL for them.

"Dr. Sheppard," the young man said, holding out John's envelope. "My instructions are to wait until you have both read the materials."

John glanced at Rodney and then back at the lieutenant. "Um...okay. You want a Coke or something?"

"No thank you, sir."

This was so new that Rodney didn't even know where to begin. He opened his letter carefully, watching John for a moment before looking down at the paper. It seemed to be a standard NDA, but for some reason Rodney got the impression that it was a little bit more important than that.

John had never heard of a General Hammond before, and he was pretty sure he knew at least the names of most of the military R&amp;D brass by now. _Weapons research, maybe?_ he thought as he scanned the NDA and the letter inviting him to a meeting. Between the two of them, he and Rodney could probably produce a pretty damn big bang along with an intelligent delivery system, but none of the research they'd done up to this point had any real bearing on actual weapons design.

"Excuse us," he said to the lieutenant and then took Rodney's arm and moved him down to the other end of the living room. "You wanna take this meeting?"

"Well," Rodney murmured, stalling as he considered, "it's obvious they want us together, so...?" He looked at John, trying to gauge how he felt about this.

"I'm curious," John said, glancing down at the paper. "And I know you; if we don't do this, it'll bug you, won't it?"

Rodney didn't even bother hesitating; John did indeed know him. "Yeah," he nodded quietly. "It will."

Sitting down on the sofa--and trying not to wince too hard--John dug around on the coffee table for a pen. He read through the NDA one more time, a little more carefully this time and then signed it before handing the pen over to Rodney.

Rodney signed his own, muttering softly under his breath as he skimmed through the standard legalese. This felt pretty good, if he let himself think about it: both the fact that they both held clearances high enough for this kind of interaction and that even the government's high-end secret operations' chains of command knew that he and John came as a package deal. He gave John a smug little look as he handed his NDA back to the courier.

"So," John said. "When do we need to be in DC?"

"Not DC, sir," the lieutenant said. "Colorado Springs. We'll arrange for a flight next week, if your schedules allow."

John shook his head. "No, that's okay. I'll fly us up there."

The lieutenant nodded, as if he wasn't at all surprised. "You can contact us through the number on the letters; the general's aide will see that you're met at the airport." He looked at them both. "Did you have any more questions?"

"Not really," John said, figuring the guy wasn't going to tell them what SGC stood for. He glanced at Rodney who shook his head. "Thanks, Lieutenant."

"Thank you, sirs."

"So," John said after the screen door closed again and they heard a car drive off. "Do you have any ideas who the hell this Hammond guy is? I've never heard of him."

Frowning thoughtfully, Rodney shook his head. "To be honest, I hadn't even thought there was anyone left we _didn't_ know in this field, let alone a whole department." He raised his eyes to John's. "SGC? Any ideas?"

"Um...Strategic General Command?" John shrugged. "Standard Government Crap?"

Rodney snorted. "Secret Gay Consortium?" He pretended to really think about it. "We _really_ need to sign up for that."

"We totally do," John said. "Oh hey, maybe they've seen my scores and want to invite me to their Secret Golf Club."

Shaking his head immediately, Rodney frowned again. "That makes no sense at all, John; they sent us information about the same organization. Unless it stands for Secret Golf Club on one hand and Sucks at Golf Club on the other."

"If you'd just put a little effort into it..." John said.

Rolling his eyes, Rodney sighed. "Thanks, Mom. I'll pencil in 'apply myself to golfing strategy' right after 'root canal' and 'laundry.' Oh, and 'working out.'"

"Careful there, Dr. McKay. If they find out that you're such an asshole, they might not let you in their Super Guys Collective."

Rodney laughed, shaking his head. "You're the biggest dork in the universe," he said, reaching out to tuck two fingers into the collar and tug John up against him.

"I dunno," John said, sliding his arms around Rodney's waist. "I know this guy--he's brilliant and funny and hot and really fucking bossy and also? A big damn dork."

John's mouth looked too good; Rodney had to lean in and bite it. "Sounds like you and he are running neck-and-neck in the race for Biggest Dork of the Submissive Gangbanging Club, even if he does sound like a seriously amazing guy."

"Yeah," John said quietly. "He's pretty amazing."

_-end-_


End file.
